Diet

Okay, here's something you may or may not know about me: I'm a yo-yo dieter. There, I said it, I confessed. I go on these crazy diets, usually loose weight, keep it off for anywhere between a few days to a whole year, then go back to where I was. I can't stop. I can't seem to stop eating all the things I love: pizza, chocolate, candy corn (newest obsession), and whatever else I feel I deserve. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's my problem. I feel like I don't get compensated for what I do, so I reward myself this way. Horrible, isn't it? It's only a reward for the short period of time I have that incredibly tasty food in my mouth and then it's gone, so I want to do it again. This is just as bad as having a drug addiction. I see now why they call it an addiction.

I have GOT to find a way to be satisfied eating healthy. This is just not working. I tried to go on another "diet" Monday, only to have the kids beg me to take them to McDonald's after school "just to play" they promised. Of course, they were hungry, so I bought them food and then I couldn't resist eating all their left-over fries. Will says "it's easy Andrea, eat less and exercise more." Okay, so he's right. I just can't seem to keep the motivation going long enough to do a significant amount of good. I know what the experts say. I've read it all. I know you shouldn't go on fad diets, you should just try to eat one meal a day healthier than normal until you create a habit. I love the way I feel when I "feel" thinner. I hate "feeling" fat. (By the way, I'm not posting this so my friends can say "you're not fat, Andrea. You look great." I don't want cheesy praise.) I just wish I could change my idea of what it is to be "sexy/good looking." It's not anyone else. It's me. If I could be happy with myself, it would change a lot of things. If I could find another way to "reward" myself, or just totally suppress my appetite, that would be great. I know if there was a magical way to do it, Oprah would have found it, so there's really no quick, easy way to fix this.

I told the young women in church a while back that I used to hate the way I looked in high school. Now, I look back and wonder what I was thinking. I was fine! I know that when I'm eighty I'll look at pictures of me now and say "what was I thinking? I was fine." I told them to be happy the way they are now because one day they'll wish they had enjoyed the way their body was at the time. I need to take my own advice. (and I need to go on a diet.) =)